AT the start of Let’s Be Cops, there is a scene set in the boardroom of a video game developer.
In it, there are a number of developers taking a pitch on an idea
from an underling who is trying to pitch a game based on patrol duties
in the Los Angeles Police Department – like playing the right side of
the law against Grand Theft Auto, if you will. But through various
boardroom-type meddlers who think they know better, it somehow becomes
Firefighters vs Zombies to become a cash-in on alleged popular styles
and bring in sales by the boatload. There is even a stupidly naff
display of it later on down the line – indeed, the games here look very
much like they were made on software that would’ve been out of date when
the PS2 was launched, nevermind the current super-gaming consoles.
One can’t help but wonder if similar bizarre antics and boardroom
politics at 20th Century Fox resulted in this being spat out. Certainly,
at face value, one can’t help but think a buddy pretend-cop movie
starring two of Zooey Deschanel’s undercards on New Girl is an odd thing
to wind up in the cinema.
Its also not been helped for its US release by its inadvertent timing
– this film came out four days after the shooting in Ferguson, Missouri
that has led to protest, riots and military-style police control, which
has made international headlines. This also gives it an odd divorce
from reality, as aside from one scene where our leads stumble across
stolen SWAT team gear and heavy grade weaponry and toy with using it,
there is little to glamorise the military side of the cops seen on the
news for most of the last month.
Instead, we get a fairy straight-cut plot. We meet struggling game
designer Justin (Damon Wayans Jr) and washed up college quarterback Ryan
(Jake Johnson), who live in a small studio apartment in Los Angeles and
are contemplating moving back to Ohio. Ahead of their university
reunion, Justin makes the police film pitch with mannequins using police
uniforms, and mistakenly thinking the reunion is a fancy dress party,
the two turn up in them.
After embarrassing themselves at the party, they find the people on
the LA streets respect them in their cop uniforms, leading to one of
them deciding he likes the buzz and wants to keep on doing it. This
leads through some fairly predictable troupes – the other cops mistaking
them for real, the one who feels guilty and wants out but still uses it
to get the woman he wants, the Russian gangsters they cross paths with
frequently, the abuse of their fake power, and more.
Plot wise, its fairly by the numbers, but that was probably to be
expected. There are funny films out there with plots you could write on
the back of a post-it note. This, however, isn’t one. A lot of the
humour feels weirdly flat, with some very tired racial, sexual and
authority-baiting stereotypes passing for jokes. So much of the jokes
feel phoned-in or done better by older films or TV, and after a while
its hard to really care for what’s going on.
The film is not 100% without merit, but its an irritatingly dull
watch and after a while, you really do wish that you were somewhere
else.
1.5/5
Thursday, 28 August 2014
Monday, 11 August 2014
Newcastle United 2014-15 Season Preview
Newcastle United are a tricky team to predict at the best of times, but last season was even more bizarre than usual.
Things looked bleak at the start of the 2013-14 season. The arrival of bumbling word-mangling former gaffer Joe Kinnear as Director of Football filled fans with dread, which grew as he failed to make a single permanent signing before the season.
Defeat in the Tyne-Wear Derby in October made fans panic even more that a relegation battle was looming. But then from seemingly nowhere, the seeds of a European challenge were sown with a string of victories. The high point was undoubtedly a first away win at Manchester United since 1972 and it looked for all the world like we were about to see success. Then, naturally, Mike Ashley cashed in Yohan Cabaye for £20million and everything fell apart.
Much has been written on everything that went wrong in the aftermath of Cabaye's departure in late January - not least on Alan Pardew's still-preposterous headbutt at Hull five weeks later. But despite that incident on Humberside and a horrible run of form that saw the team lose 14 in 20 Premier League outings, Pardew remains and surprisingly has been backed in the transer market.
Around £30million has been spent on new players to bolster a squad that was in mutinous mood and while rumoured targets like Loic Remy, Alexander Lacazette and Clement Grenier haven't signed, the club still looks a stronger prospect.
One thing that fans will not want to remember from this pre-season was the tragic news in mid-July of two Newcastle supporters being among those killed in the shooting down of Malaysian Airlines Flight 17 in Eastern Ukraine. John Alder and Liam Sweeney were travelling to New Zealand for the team's pre-season tour in the Oceanic nation, and the sad news of their loss will be commemorated by a series of tributes ahead of the season-opening clash with Manchester City.
A few thoughts on the new campaign:
What Would Be A Great Season?: Not giving up halfway through, and instead having a season that doesn't give the club the air of falling to bits. Maybe even a European or silverware challenge if we're lucky.
What Would Be A Horrible Season?: The much vaunted new signings fail to adjust and lower mid-table - even relegation - become real problems.
What's The Likelier Outcome?: 10th place last season was probably about right for a squad that started well and ended poorly. While Champions League talk is extremely premature, there is space and talent there for a decent start.
Key Player: Siem de Jong. The new Newcastle number 10 is a four-time Eredivisie winner and has captained and scored for Ajax in the Champions League. The Premier League will be a jump but he is expected to be a focal point for the new attack, and if he does live up to his billing, he should be good.
Needs To Improve: Dreadful defending dogged the second-half of Newcastle's 2013-14 season, and nobody covered themselves in glory as the number of thrashings went up and up and up. Better defending is an absolute must.
Will Be Missed: The goals of Loic Remy kept Newcastle in the top half last season and an extra goalscorer is still needed. Mathieu Debuchy was also rated the league's best full back by WhoScored.com, and its important Daryl Janmaat hits the ground running.
Good That He's Still Here: Tim Krul's World Cup penalty shootout cameo did bring him to the world football stage in the most peculiar way. Despite speculation linking him with Barcelona and AC Milan, he remains on Tyneside and will remain important.
Why Is He Still Here: Many would say owner and manager, given last season felt like Mike Ashley only cared that Sports Direct and other brands were getting free billboards, and Alan Pardew was picking poor teams when he wasn't behaving like a total moron. In terms of players, the continued employment of Gabriel Obertan remains baffling - not least given he's gone ahead of the more gifted and useful Hatem Ben Arfa in the pecking order.
Incoming: This has been a surprisingly busy summer on Tyneside, with seven new signings. The biggest individual purchase is £12M French winger Remy Cabella, who moves from Montpellier after almost joining in January. Also joining him in attacking midfield is de Jong, who joins from Ajax for £6M. The same fee was also spent on Monaco striker Emmanuel Riviere, who has scored 3 times in pre-season. Spanish striker Ayoze Perez also joins to support the front line after signing from Tenerife, while Shakthar Donetsk's Facundo Ferreyra is on a season-long loan. The controversial signing of Sunderland's Jack Colback caused a few amusing escapades between the two fans, while Dutch full back Daryl Janmaat concludes the signings so far after joining from Feyernoord. Nottingham Forest duo Karl Darlow and Jamaal Lascelles will also move to Tyneside, although they will spend this season on loan with the Championship side. Surprisingly, even more are still expected.
Outgoing: Three strikers light is the main out, with Loic Remy and Luuk de Jong leaving after loan spells, and Shola Ameobi leaving after 14 years in the first team. There was also a departure for Mathieu Debuchy, with the full-back moving to London to join Arsenal. Dan Gosling and James Tavernier have left, while Sylvain Marveux is loaned out back to France. Despite Pardew's best efforts, Ben Arfa and Jonas Gutierrez are still here.
The Manager: After a difficult 2012-13, 2013-14 was even weirder for Pardew. The Newcastle manager had good runs of form that included a first win at Manchester United since 1972, then embarked on the single worst form of any Newcastle manager in the modern era. 14 defeats in 20 Premier League games, like he managed, is inexcusable and he needs to hit the ground running. Not swearing at opposing managers or headbutting opposition players would also help.
Something To Keep From Last Year: There was some evidence of an attempt at playing a more passing-oriented game at times last year. This ball control can be useful, and certainly its a start, but it needs refining and then having a potent menace added to it.
Something To Improve: Attacking movement and defensive positioning - particularly in times of injury or missing players. The loss of Cabaye coincided with the start of Ben Arfa's move to exile, which left a thuddingly dull attack, while the defence just fell to pieces. Rectifying both of these issues is most certainly required.
Pre-Season:
Oldham (A) 2-1 defeat
Sydney FC (in New Zealand) 4-0 win
Wellington Phoenix (A) 1-0 win
Sheffield Wednesday (A) 1-0 win
Malaga (in Germany) 3-1 defeat
Schalke 04 (A) 3-1 win
Huddersfield Town (A) 2-2 draw
Real Sociedad (H) 1-0 win
A Word On The New Kits: The new home strip, as has been the case for the last two seasons, was the last Premier League home strip to be unveiled, and this time feature an odd black triangle on the front. The shame is the kit actually would've looked nice without the triangle and the perennially unwanted Wonga.com logo. The away strip is a decent looking grey number with "NEWCASTLE UNITED FC" pinstripes, and a member's 4th strip was debuted during the home clash with Real Sociedad, consisting of a white shirt with a grey chevron. A third strip is as yet unconfirmed.
Personal Starting XI:
Krul - Janmaat, Yanga-Mbiwa, Coloccini, Santon - Tiote, Sissoko - Ben Arfa, de Jong, Cabella - Riviere/Ferreyra
Likely Starting XI:
Krul - Janmaat, Williamson, Coloccini, Haidara - Sissoko, Colback, Tiote, Cabella - de Jong, Gouffran
So, the all important final question...
Where Will We Finish?
The squad renovation and healing process from the depressing end to the 2013-14 season is in full swing. Talk of the Champions League from Pardew and some players is extremely premature and it will take a few years to create a squad ready for such a go. But at the very least, we should better last season's 10th place finish.
In a case of deja vu, Newcastle open the season with a clash with Manchester City. With any luck, there won't be a repeat of the goal disallowing incident that marred the home clash with the Citizens in January and everything that followed.
Beyond then is another 9 months and hopefully the Toon Army will receive the full quota of excitement, rather than a depressing streak replacing the last three and a half months.
The challenge is back on.
Things looked bleak at the start of the 2013-14 season. The arrival of bumbling word-mangling former gaffer Joe Kinnear as Director of Football filled fans with dread, which grew as he failed to make a single permanent signing before the season.
Defeat in the Tyne-Wear Derby in October made fans panic even more that a relegation battle was looming. But then from seemingly nowhere, the seeds of a European challenge were sown with a string of victories. The high point was undoubtedly a first away win at Manchester United since 1972 and it looked for all the world like we were about to see success. Then, naturally, Mike Ashley cashed in Yohan Cabaye for £20million and everything fell apart.
Much has been written on everything that went wrong in the aftermath of Cabaye's departure in late January - not least on Alan Pardew's still-preposterous headbutt at Hull five weeks later. But despite that incident on Humberside and a horrible run of form that saw the team lose 14 in 20 Premier League outings, Pardew remains and surprisingly has been backed in the transer market.
Around £30million has been spent on new players to bolster a squad that was in mutinous mood and while rumoured targets like Loic Remy, Alexander Lacazette and Clement Grenier haven't signed, the club still looks a stronger prospect.
One thing that fans will not want to remember from this pre-season was the tragic news in mid-July of two Newcastle supporters being among those killed in the shooting down of Malaysian Airlines Flight 17 in Eastern Ukraine. John Alder and Liam Sweeney were travelling to New Zealand for the team's pre-season tour in the Oceanic nation, and the sad news of their loss will be commemorated by a series of tributes ahead of the season-opening clash with Manchester City.
A few thoughts on the new campaign:
What Would Be A Great Season?: Not giving up halfway through, and instead having a season that doesn't give the club the air of falling to bits. Maybe even a European or silverware challenge if we're lucky.
What Would Be A Horrible Season?: The much vaunted new signings fail to adjust and lower mid-table - even relegation - become real problems.
What's The Likelier Outcome?: 10th place last season was probably about right for a squad that started well and ended poorly. While Champions League talk is extremely premature, there is space and talent there for a decent start.
Key Player: Siem de Jong. The new Newcastle number 10 is a four-time Eredivisie winner and has captained and scored for Ajax in the Champions League. The Premier League will be a jump but he is expected to be a focal point for the new attack, and if he does live up to his billing, he should be good.
Needs To Improve: Dreadful defending dogged the second-half of Newcastle's 2013-14 season, and nobody covered themselves in glory as the number of thrashings went up and up and up. Better defending is an absolute must.
Will Be Missed: The goals of Loic Remy kept Newcastle in the top half last season and an extra goalscorer is still needed. Mathieu Debuchy was also rated the league's best full back by WhoScored.com, and its important Daryl Janmaat hits the ground running.
Good That He's Still Here: Tim Krul's World Cup penalty shootout cameo did bring him to the world football stage in the most peculiar way. Despite speculation linking him with Barcelona and AC Milan, he remains on Tyneside and will remain important.
Why Is He Still Here: Many would say owner and manager, given last season felt like Mike Ashley only cared that Sports Direct and other brands were getting free billboards, and Alan Pardew was picking poor teams when he wasn't behaving like a total moron. In terms of players, the continued employment of Gabriel Obertan remains baffling - not least given he's gone ahead of the more gifted and useful Hatem Ben Arfa in the pecking order.
Incoming: This has been a surprisingly busy summer on Tyneside, with seven new signings. The biggest individual purchase is £12M French winger Remy Cabella, who moves from Montpellier after almost joining in January. Also joining him in attacking midfield is de Jong, who joins from Ajax for £6M. The same fee was also spent on Monaco striker Emmanuel Riviere, who has scored 3 times in pre-season. Spanish striker Ayoze Perez also joins to support the front line after signing from Tenerife, while Shakthar Donetsk's Facundo Ferreyra is on a season-long loan. The controversial signing of Sunderland's Jack Colback caused a few amusing escapades between the two fans, while Dutch full back Daryl Janmaat concludes the signings so far after joining from Feyernoord. Nottingham Forest duo Karl Darlow and Jamaal Lascelles will also move to Tyneside, although they will spend this season on loan with the Championship side. Surprisingly, even more are still expected.
Outgoing: Three strikers light is the main out, with Loic Remy and Luuk de Jong leaving after loan spells, and Shola Ameobi leaving after 14 years in the first team. There was also a departure for Mathieu Debuchy, with the full-back moving to London to join Arsenal. Dan Gosling and James Tavernier have left, while Sylvain Marveux is loaned out back to France. Despite Pardew's best efforts, Ben Arfa and Jonas Gutierrez are still here.
The Manager: After a difficult 2012-13, 2013-14 was even weirder for Pardew. The Newcastle manager had good runs of form that included a first win at Manchester United since 1972, then embarked on the single worst form of any Newcastle manager in the modern era. 14 defeats in 20 Premier League games, like he managed, is inexcusable and he needs to hit the ground running. Not swearing at opposing managers or headbutting opposition players would also help.
Something To Keep From Last Year: There was some evidence of an attempt at playing a more passing-oriented game at times last year. This ball control can be useful, and certainly its a start, but it needs refining and then having a potent menace added to it.
Something To Improve: Attacking movement and defensive positioning - particularly in times of injury or missing players. The loss of Cabaye coincided with the start of Ben Arfa's move to exile, which left a thuddingly dull attack, while the defence just fell to pieces. Rectifying both of these issues is most certainly required.
Pre-Season:
Oldham (A) 2-1 defeat
Sydney FC (in New Zealand) 4-0 win
Wellington Phoenix (A) 1-0 win
Sheffield Wednesday (A) 1-0 win
Malaga (in Germany) 3-1 defeat
Schalke 04 (A) 3-1 win
Huddersfield Town (A) 2-2 draw
Real Sociedad (H) 1-0 win
A Word On The New Kits: The new home strip, as has been the case for the last two seasons, was the last Premier League home strip to be unveiled, and this time feature an odd black triangle on the front. The shame is the kit actually would've looked nice without the triangle and the perennially unwanted Wonga.com logo. The away strip is a decent looking grey number with "NEWCASTLE UNITED FC" pinstripes, and a member's 4th strip was debuted during the home clash with Real Sociedad, consisting of a white shirt with a grey chevron. A third strip is as yet unconfirmed.
Personal Starting XI:
Krul - Janmaat, Yanga-Mbiwa, Coloccini, Santon - Tiote, Sissoko - Ben Arfa, de Jong, Cabella - Riviere/Ferreyra
Likely Starting XI:
Krul - Janmaat, Williamson, Coloccini, Haidara - Sissoko, Colback, Tiote, Cabella - de Jong, Gouffran
So, the all important final question...
Where Will We Finish?
The squad renovation and healing process from the depressing end to the 2013-14 season is in full swing. Talk of the Champions League from Pardew and some players is extremely premature and it will take a few years to create a squad ready for such a go. But at the very least, we should better last season's 10th place finish.
In a case of deja vu, Newcastle open the season with a clash with Manchester City. With any luck, there won't be a repeat of the goal disallowing incident that marred the home clash with the Citizens in January and everything that followed.
Beyond then is another 9 months and hopefully the Toon Army will receive the full quota of excitement, rather than a depressing streak replacing the last three and a half months.
The challenge is back on.
Saturday, 9 August 2014
Premier League 2014/15 Season Preview
After a season widely regarded as one of the Premier League's best ever, and then a World Cup widely regarded as the best ever, football returns on a high.
The anticipation for another stellar campaign is high after months of top quality football. Despite some notable departures, all the teams have been busy in this pre-season accumulating top quality new transfers, and it promises to be another exciting season.
All 20 teams come in at least all with hopes and dreams high, and now is the time fans can be dream of success before reality kicks-in next week. So... what can we expect from each of the 20 teams?
Arsenal
Last Season In Four Words: Led table then imploded
What Do They Want?: A title challenge. After breaking their nine year trophy drought and making their strongest title challenge since blowing the lead in 2010/11, Arsenal are now trying to cultivate a team capable of a title challenge. There are hints the squad is being cultivated for a proper tilt at a prize Arsenal last lifted in 2004.
Transfers: The biggest individual spending on one player in the Premier League so far is for Alexis Sanchez, who Arsenal have recruited for £35million. After Manchester City signed Bacary Sagna, Arsenal opted to buy two new right-backs, spending a total of £28M on Newcastle's Mathieu Debuchy and Southampton youngster Calum Chambers. Nice goalkeeper David Ospina has also joined as a replacement for Lukas Fabianski, who has joined Swansea, while Nicklas Bendtner has now made his long-overdue exit. Carl Jenkinson has joined West Ham on loan, while his fellow defender Thomas Vermaelen also looks set to leave, with Barcelona his likely destination.
Ones To Watch: Sanchez's arrival in England has been highly anticipated and Arsenal have high hopes that he can be a success in English football. Also hoped for highly is Mesut Ozil, who had a difficult first year in England after joining for £42M on deadline day last year. Aaron Ramsey's form last year also means big things are expected.
The Gaffer: Arsene Wenger reached 1000 games as Arsenal manager last season and celebrated by receiving a 6-0 thumping at Chelsea. But after ending Arsenal's nine year trophy drought, hopes are high he can rectify their wait for a first Premier League since 2004.
Prediction: A title challenge could be in line for Arsenal, but they still need additional options in defence, and if one of their first choice centre-back pairing gets injured, they will struggle. But a top 3 finish should be achievable.
Aston Villa
Last Season In Four Words: Survived relegation once again
What Do They Want?: Same expectation. Relegation would be catastrophic for an Aston Villa side that has been ever-present in the top flight since 1975, and despite owner Randy Lerner still looking for a way out after being unable to sell the club during the off-season, Lambert has to maintain Villa's Premier League status.
Transfers: After dallying with youth, Paul Lambert's purchasing so far has been for experience. Kieran Richardson and Phillipe Senderos will retain Premier League status after being released by relegated Fulham, while Joe Cole moves from West Ham. There's also returns to the fold for Alan Hutton and Darren Bent, who spent most of last season out on loan. Jordan Bowery, Marc Albrighton and Nathan Delfouenso make their exits, while Nicklas Helenius and Yacouba Sylla leave on loan.
Ones To Watch: With Christian Benteke out until November, Darren Bent faces a big season as he seeks to prove why Villa paid £24M for him in 2011. After patchy seasons last year, Andreas Weimann and Gabby Agbonlahor also have to step up, while Brad Guzan has to keep his form.
The Gaffer: After coming into frequent criticism last year, this is a big season for Paul Lambert, who is facing the challenge of a reluctant owner and lack of funding. Once again, Villa seem like they could be in for a struggle of a campaign, and many already have earmarked new assistant manager Roy Keane for the permanent job if things go awry.
Prediction: There's no bones about it - Villa are now a team that is going to struggle, and with uninspiring new signings and a manager nobody at the club likes, its going to be another difficult season. Villa fans just have to hope there's three teams worse than them.
Burnley
Last Season In Four Words: Deservedly secured surprise promotion
What Do They Want?: Survival. There is no other modus operandi for the Clarets as they return to the Premier League for the first time in five seasons.
Transfers: Securing Premier League experience is Burnley's priority, with Blackpool goalkeeper Matt Gilks, West Brom's Steven Reid and West Ham's Matt Taylor signed up. Stoke winger Michael Kightly moves to Turf Moor after a successful loan spell last season, while Middlesbrough striker Lukas Jutkiewicz and Bolton forward Marvin Sordell also make moves to Lancashire. Chris Baird, David Edgar and Junior Stanislas are among those who depart. Burnley have said more buys are desired, and certainly a thin midfield could use bulking up.
Ones To Watch: Burnley's success in getting to the league was built on the Championship's firmest defence and the extremely potent front-line combination of Danny Ings and Sam Vokes. The importance of both these groups maintaining their second tier form cannot be overstated, while whichever pick of Matt Gilks and Tom Heaton as their Premier League number one faces a busy year.
The Gaffer: Nicknamed the Ginger Mourinho by the Clarets' supporters, Sean Dyche is approaching his fourth season as a manager and his biggest challenge. Appropriately he kicks off against the actual Mourinho, which is as good a test as any, and Burnley fans will be hopeful he can deliver at the higher level.
Prediction: Burnley have been routinely given a "little club in big world" sheen since their promotion was confirmed and will hopefully shut up the press by beating a big name. But sadly, a small squad with little Premier League experience does have the air of one that will slink out of the league at the first attempt.
Chelsea
Last Season In Four Words: Special One not enough
What Do They Want?: The Premier League title. They got close last year, and had the best run out of the meetings of the top 6 clubs, but carelessly and frequently dropped points against teams fighting for survival.
Transfers: This has been a big scene change for Chelsea, with veterans Frank Lampard and Ashley Cole leaving after highly decorated spells with the club. One veteran, however, has come back into Chelsea, with Didier Drogba rejoining some 2 years after leaving. The big incomings are Cesc Fabregas and Diego Costa, who make huge money moves from La Liga. Costa's Atletico Madrid full back Filipe Luis has also moved from the Spanish champions to England. Samuel Eto'o has also departed, while PSG blew £50million on David Luiz - something his World Cup semi-final performance did little to justify. £28million has also been received for Romelu Lukaku, who has rejoined Everton, while Demba Ba has joined Besiktas.
Ones To Watch: Diego Costa will seek to bring to England the form from his La Liga splurge last year, and not his abject World Cup form that saw him drag down the World Champions. Its also a big year for Fabregas as he seeks to replace Lampard, while after spending 2 years on loan with Atletico, Thibaut Courtois could be a legitimate challenger for the number one goalkeeper spot.
The Gaffer: 2013/14 was a disappointment for Jose Mourinho, whose mind games hit overdrive but weren't backed up by success. Following that, Mourinho has to deliver something now and reward the rare stay of execution that Roman Abrahmovic has given a man who delivered a trophyless season.
Prediction: The bookies' favourites for the title are indeed Mourinho's boys and critical consensus is that it'll be a straight fight between them and Manchester City for the league title. It should be, and if Mourinho can iron out the tendency to give strugglers results, it should be theirs.
Crystal Palace
Last Season In Four Words: Pulis transformation extended stay
What Do They Want?: Its a job to know. The miraculous turnaround in form should, in theory, have heightened expectations for the Eagles, yet its also a feeling that they would be happy just to maintain Premier League survival.
Transfers: Compared to last season's scattergun high quantity summer transfer window, the incomings have been quite quiet. Three have come in, with Cardiff striker Fraizer Campbell the only one signing for a transfer fee. Experienced centre-back Brede Hangeland and young goalkeeper Chris Kettings are free signings. Jose Campana leaves on an undisclosed fee, while Jonathan Parr, Danny Gabbidon, Kagisho Dikgacoi, Dean Moxey and Aaron Wilbraham leave on free transfers.
Ones To Watch: After a season spent mostly injured, this is a big season for Glenn Murray, who was top scorer as Palace got promoted and who has fallen down the pecking order. Marouane Chamakh and the pacy Campbell should be good front runners with him, while Joel Ward had a brilliant first Premier League campaign and should impress again.
The Gaffer: The impressive turnaround last season means Tony Pulis has kept his enviable record of never being relegated, and also won a Manager of the Year award. Now the next step is presumably maintaining that score.
Prediction: A second consecutive top flight season is almost unheard of territory for a whole generation of Palace fans. But this vintage should be more than good enough to prolong this stay for another term.
Everton
Last Season In Four Words: Fitted in at top
What Do They Want?: Champions League football is the ultimate aim. Roberto Martinez even said so himself when he took over at Everton last year that the ultimate goal was to get the Toffees into the top 4 and they were very close to achieving it in year one. Anything below 5th would be seen as backwards, so Everton's goal is surely to challenge for the top four once again.
Transfers: The big ask for Everton's summer dealings was to replace last season's loan stars, but the good news for them was to sign two of them permanently. Gareth Barry's move on a free after his release by Manchester City was expected, but the Toffees then spent the big cash, with a club record £28million spent on securing Romelu Lukaku on a permanent deal. Gerard Deulofeu is not returning after his loan from Barcelona expired, but Everton have still strengthened their midfield, with Muhamed Besic moving to Goodison Park. Youngster Brendan Galloway also comes in, while Apostos Velious is the biggest name leaving.
Ones To Watch: After his impressive first year on Merseyside, Lukaku will seek to justify the faith shown in him to such a large degree. The same can also be said of Ross Barkley, who is already being talked of as the future of the England team after a dynamite season in 13-14. The bombing full-backs Seamus Coleman and Leighton Baines will also want to show more of their good form.
The Gaffer: Roberto Martinez has had a decent few seasons, be it several fine relegation escapes at Wigan before signing off with their first ever FA Cup trophy, and then coming close to getting Everton their first top 4 finish in almost a decade. He will want to continue this streak.
Prediction: The top 4 looks beyond Everton at present, but then it did a year ago so its hard to predict. At the very least they should get a top 6 place again and also look to challenge for silverware.
Hull City
Last Season In Four Words: Survived on early form
What Do They Want?: Avoid second season syndrome. Like Crystal Palace, Hull surpassed expectations significantly by surviving last year, but were largely poor in the second half of the campaign. As its a known idea that teams who end a season poorly can start the following season in similarly bad fashion, Hull have to avoid falling into this trap, and juggle the Europa League too.
Transfers: With Europa League on Hull's fixture list after their FA Cup runner-up position last year, strengthening was needed. So far, the midfield has received the bulk of Steve Bruce's attention, with Jake Livermore returning after a successful loan spell, Robert Snodgrass moving after being relegated with Norwich, and Tom Ince turning down Inter to sign on a free. Young defenders Harry Maguire and Andy Robertson also move to Humberside, while Matty Fyratt, Abdoulaye Faye and Robert Koren lead the outs.
Ones To Watch: The likely new widemen of Snodgrass and Ince are seeking to justify their faith, with the former falling out with fans at Norwich and the latter unable to make an impact at Crystal Palace during a loan spell last year. The jump to the top flight promises to be interesting for Maguire and Robertson, while the January-bought strikeforce of Shane Long and Nikica Jelavic really needs a scoring spree.
The Gaffer: Steve Bruce had arguably his best ever season last year and will be hoping more survival and a good European challenge can continue this renaissance he is having after his dismissal from Sunderland in 2011.
Prediction: Hull do have a squad capable of playing in the Premier League and once more should retain their status. As for Europe, they have a winnable tie with Lokeren but will most likely struggle in the group stage.
Leicester City
Last Season In Four Words: Promotion always looked certain
What Do They Want?: Like all promoted teams, the minimum is survival. This season will be a different vibe for the Foxes, who dominated the 2nd tier last year, and they have to be sure to be cut out for a season where they will not be in charge every week.
Transfers: Like Burnley, Leicester require Premier League experience. Brighton centre-half Matthew Upson and Aston Villa winger Matt Albrighton have had some Premier League experience, and could prove astute signings on freebies. A club record £7million has been spent on Brighton's Leonardo Ulloa, while Charlton keeper Ben Hamer and Manchester United youngsters Jack Barmby and Louis Rowley join on free transfers. Lloyd Dyer, Neil Danns, Sean St. Ledger and Paul Gallagher lead the outs.
Ones To Watch: After reportedly turning down Arsenal and AC Milan to extend his contract, Kasper Schmeichel is back in the top flight and the Foxes' custodian will seek to prove he shares his father's talents between the posts. The front duo of David Nugent and Jamie Vardy were impressive in getting Leicester into the top tier, while new signing Ulloa will need to get in and score to justify £7million worth of faith.
The Gaffer: Nigel Pearson is in his second spell as Leicester boss, and is now in the 3rd different tier he's managed the Foxes in. His only two Premier League games so far saw him pick up one point and a 6-0 hammering as Newcastle caretaker, but he has earned his chance.
Prediction: Leicester's run through to the top flight does give them hope and they certainly do look reasonably placed to give survival a real go. They should make it, but it won't be a comfortable journey.
Liverpool
Last Season In Four Words: A whisker from glory
What Do They Want?: If not the Premier League title, then at least another convincing run at it. The loss of Luis Suarez will no doubt hurt, but having come within one fatal slip by Gerrard of winning the title, the Reds will want another shot at the prize that has eluded them for 24 years.
Transfers: One year after a summer dominated by "will he leave, won't he" shenanigans, Liverpool finally let Luis Suarez go. Barcelona duly whacked out a reported £70million for him, despite the fact his latest bite means he won't play until November. With him gone, Liverpool duly begun signing up Southampton, with Adam Lallana, Rickie Lambert and Dejan Lovren moving from Hampshire to Merseyside. Benfica's Lazar Markovic is their other major signing in attack, while Bayer Leverkusen defender Emre Can and Atletico Madrid full back Javier Manquilo also moves in. Belgian World Cup star Divorck Origi did sign but will stay at Lille on loan for a year, while Pepe Reina ends his 9 year association with the club and joins Bayern Munich.
Ones To Watch: With Suarez now gone, Daniel Sturridge faces a big season as line-leader. To his credit he did score in all but one of the games before Suarez returned last year, but he will now have to step up his contribution. A likely new attacking midfield trio of Lallana, Markovic and Raheem Sterling will excite fans - as will Phillipe Coutinho, who's still there - while Steven Gerrard has a big season after the traumatic end to the previous one and an awful World Cup.
The Gaffer: Brendan Rodgers has come a long way since being fired by Reading in 2009, but the former Chelsea youth coach is cutting his own in management. His first season of Champions League football will certainly be a big test.
Prediction: A title challenge may have come if Suarez hadn't decided to force through a transfer by biting opponents. As it is now, Champions League spots should be the goal, and Liverpool should keep them.
Manchester City
Last Season In Four Words: Won league through outscoring
What Do They Want?: More success. Be it retaining the title, retaining the Capital One Cup, lifting the FA Cup or even a first real go at the Champions League, Manchester City's project is now reaping rewards and it is likely owners, fans and staff would want more success.
Transfers: Unusually, Manchester City have been quite quiet on the transfer front. There is a free incoming unusually too, with Bacary Sagna moving for nothing from Arsenal. Equally surprising is the arrival of Frank Lampard, who joins on loan from New York City FC after his release by Chelsea and move to the Man City-owned US franchise. Malaga goalkeeper Willy Caballero and Porto midfielder Fernando are also incoming, while Jack Rodwell, Costel Pantillimon, Joleon Lescott and Gareth Barry all leave to join other Premier League outfits.
Ones To Watch: Yaya Toure is still in town after his bizarre birthday cake rant at the end of last season and may have to prove he's not sad at still being in town. Elsewhere, the usual suspects of Sergio Aguero, Edin Dzeko, Samir Nasri, David Silva and even Stefan Jovetic will be dangerous, while an intriguing battle for the number one goalkeeper slot beckons between Joe Hart and Caballero.
The Gaffer: Manuel Pellegrini's first English season was undoubtedly a success. A Premier League title and Capital One Cup certainly belied accusations he was an expert in failure after he failed to win trophies with Real Madrid, and he will look for more success next season.
Prediction: Only Chelsea and Manchester United have delivered back-to-back titles in the Premier League era, but Man City do have the squad to at least try. They will no doubt be among the title contenders come the final straight, and it will surely come down to their results against their rivals.
Manchester United
Last Season In Four Words: Moyes didn't work out
What Do They Want?: A return to the Champions League at the very least. What future Manchester United fans will presumably refer to as "the Moyes interlude" was a a damaging campaign that saw, for the first time in a generation, the Red Devils struggle. Louis van Gaal's first mission is at least to get the Red Devils back into the lucrative big league.
Transfers: The big news is that Ryan Giggs will no longer play for Manchester United, with the Welshman joining Louis van Gaal's backroom staff. On incomings, and like they did last year, Manchester United have been linked with bigger names than who they signed, but this time, they have actually bought before the season. Big money too, with Southampton full back Luke Shaw and Athletic Bilbao Ander Herrera joining for a combined fee of over £55million. Three of Fergusons multi-title winning defence in 2006-09 have left, with Nemanja Vidic and Rio Ferdinand leaving on frees, and Patrice Evra joining Juventus.
Ones To Watch: Wayne Rooney and Robin van Persie formed an exciting pairing when the Red Devils won the league in 2012-13 but faltered last year. Both need to improve, while Juan Mata and Shiniji Kagawa will compete to be the main link man. Ashley Young had a good pre-season and will hope to carry this into the league season, while Luke Shaw will seek to justify his big bucks move.
The Gaffer: Virtually straight off the plane from leading Holland to 3rd at the World Cup, Louis van Gaal is a good pick to try and resurrect a team that hilariously failed. The Dutchman has won league titles in three European leagues and has even talked of winning one in England already.
Prediction: A title challenge is dreamed of after van Gaal's World Cup success, but they still don't have a title-winning defence or midfield. A return to the Champions League is the minimum, but they still feel like they need work done. Top five should at least be achieved.
Newcastle United
Last Season In Four Words: Hideously damaging second half
What Do They Want?: Less toxicity. The second half of the 2013/14 campaign was a bad time for Newcastle, be it the bizarre sight of manager Alan Pardew headbutting opponents, loss of form, arguments between players and more. Pardew has made words that the squad's buying policy is targeted at getting the club in the top four, but an improvement from 10th place would still be a start.
Transfers: After the inaction of 2013-14, Newcastle have been surprisingly busy. Three new midfielders have signed, with Sunderland's Jack Colback, Ajax captain Siem de Jong and Montpellier wideman Remy Cabella all incoming. Dutch full-back Daryl Janmaat is also incoming as a replacement for Mathieu Debuchy, who joined Arsenal, while Monaco striker Emannuel Riviere and Spanish young forward Ayoze Perez have also moved to Tyneside. There is also the loan signing of Facundo Ferreyra from Shakthar Donetsk, while Nottingham Forest duo Karl Darlow and Jamaal Lascelles have signed, but will be loaned back to Forest for this season. Shola Ameobi has left after 14 years on Tyneside, while Loic Remy has returned to QPR after a successful loan spell.
Ones To Watch: The attack will likely be lead by de Jong and Cabella in the advanced slots, while youngster Rolando Aarons has also impressed. The three new strikers will look to hit the ground running in a new country to replace Remy's goals, while after frequent thrashings, the defence needs to tighten up.
The Gaffer: Alan Pardew's position was on shaky ground after the Newcastle manager's moment of brain-dead idiocy when he headbutted a Hull City player last season. To the dismay of some fans, he remains in charge and needs to justify both that faith and the spending spree very quickly.
Prediction: As much as they want a return to the top 4, that will probably be beyond Newcastle for this season. But a tilt at the top six or a cup is not beyond the Magpies, and they should at least avoid weekly thrashings as they were getting at the end of the previous campaign.
Queens Park Rangers
Last Season In Four Words: Grabbed last gasp promotion
What Do They Want?: Not to crash and burn. QPR's last Premier League season was an unmitigated disaster on every level, and having almost screwed up promotion despite leading the way in the 2nd tier for the first third of the campaign, QPR could use a boring, slow season.
Transfers: It looked as though QPR may not have learned their lesson from their last Premier League escapade when Rio Ferdinand made a move for big wages to Loftus Road. In a different line of signing, the Hoops signed Steven Caulker from Cardiff City, with his teammate Jordan Mutch then following him from South Wales. Full-back Mauricio Isla also moves to West London, on a year long from Juventus. Yossi Benayoun signalled his move back to Israel with a Twitter spat with Joey Barton over the Israel/Gaza conflict, while Stephan MBia, Esteban Granero, Andy Johnson and Aaron Hughes are also among the exits.
Ones To Watch: Ferdinand has to justify the faith with the kind of defensive performance that made him a 6 time Premier League champion with Manchester United. Caulker alongside should be a robust pairing. The return of Loic Remy after a year on loan at Newcastle and his failed move to Liverpool should provide goals.
The Gaffer: Harry Redknapp has said he would have retired if QPR had failed to win promotion last year. Having now made it back to the top flight, some of the form that led him to almost getting the England job might help the West Londoners.
Prediction: QPR's last two seasons as a top flight club have involved relegation battles and QPR will almost certainly be there once more, but they should have more than enough to ensure they're not on the wrong side of the relegation zone in May.
Southampton
Last Season In Four Words: Fuelled by young fire
What Do They Want?: The avoidance of a catastrophic regression is the must, but that will not be easy. Southampton's out door has been substantially busier than the in door, and much work is needed to ensure this doesn't spill over into a catastrophic tumble down the table.
Transfers: This has been a brutal summer for Saints fans, with Adam Lallana, Rickie Lambert, Dejan Lovren, Luke Shaw and Calum Chambers all making big money exits, along with manager Mauricio Pochettino, and many more linked with exits. Dani Osvaldo has left on loan, but despite heavy speculation, Morgan Schneiderlin and Jay Rodriguez remain. Feyernood striker Graziano Pelle and Twente midfielder Dusan Tadic have been Ronald Koeman's first signings in Hampshire since being appointed, while Chelsea's Ryan Bertrand and Inter Milan midfielder Saphir Taider join on loan, but more is clearly required. Celtic goalkeeper Fraser Forster is likely to be next after a fee was agreed.
Ones To Watch: This could be a big season for Gaston Ramirez, who was Southampton's record signing when they returned to the top flight in 2012 and has spent most of his time behind Adam Lallana in the pecking order. James Ward-Prowse will also be a key man for this new Saints team, while Tadic and Pelle have to adjust quickly.
The Gaffer: Ronald Koeman has had a hit-and-miss career, with trophy wins in some places counteracted by relegation dogfights in others. But the man famous for his free-kicks as a player could be a decent choice by the currently unloved Saints owners.
Prediction: There will be a tumble from last season's 8th position, as the team is missing many of the talents that got them up to such a strong position. But while some bookmakers have been overly keen to slash their relegation odds, they will most likely be midtable.
Stoke City
Last Season In Four Words: Looked better than ever
What Do They Want?: A continuation. Its easy to forget Stoke were in a relegation battle as recently as February, but their impressive form saw them soar into a record high points total as Mark Hughes' structural blueprint clicked. Now the goal is to ensure their second half form in 2013/14 continues.
Transfers: The biggest name and perhaps most surprising signing in the Potteries is Bojan, with the former Barcelona striker joining on a free and leading to fanciful rumours Ronaldinho might follow him in. Former Manchester United striker Mame Biriam Diouf, Sunderland's Phil Bardsley and Fulham's Steve Sidwell are also free signings. Slovakian defender Dionatan Teixera is Stoke's only paid-for signing so far, while Michael Kightly and Matthew Etherington make their exits.
Ones To Watch: A new strikeforce of Diouf and Bojan has great potential and does hint to life after Peter Crouch, although he should still chip in with a few goals. Mauro Arnautovic and Peter Odemwingie will look to continue their form last year, as will Asmir Begovic, who once again impressed in goal and even scored one last year.
The Gaffer: Mark Hughes was a controversial appointment last year following his failure at QPR, but turned things around. Now, he will seek to build up a team that is starting to show signs of potential.
Prediction: Top half is what Stoke got last year and they certainly have potential to maintain and perhaps even improve on last year's 9th spot. Whether they do is one for fate to decide.
Sunderland
Last Season In Four Words: Miracle kept them up
What Do They Want?: A slightly more boring season. Two chaotic relegation battles have seen them go through 3 managers, several dozen players and bizarre episodes of form. After all, last year its easy to forget they failed to win between a 3-0 thrashing of Newcastle on their turf and ending Jose Mourinho's unbeaten home run as Chelsea boss, and then winning at Manchester United for good measure. So something a bit less insane might help relax the fans.
Transfers: Like a number of other Premier League clubs, free has been the order of the day so far, although more are expected. The Black Cats have signed Wigan's Jordi Gomez, Man City goalkeeper Costel Pantilimon and the West Brom full back Billy Jones on frees, while Santiago Vergini rejoins on loan. The big signing is Manchester City midfielder Jack Rodwell, while Chelsea full-back Patrick van Aanholt is the only other paid-for player. Keiren Westwood, Carlos Cuellar, Andrea Dossena, Phil Bardsley and Craig Gardner leave on frees, while no transfer fee was exchanged in the controversial transfer of Jack Colback, who became the first player in 22 years to directly move from Sunderland to Newcastle.
Ones To Watch: So far, Fabio Borini has yet to make his loan move from Liverpool permanent, which puts pressure on Connor Wickham to continue his scoring form at the end of last season. Gomez will also be likely to chip in with a few strikes of his own, while at the back, Vito Mannone will once again be called upon to keep the rearguard area as concession-free as possible.
The Gaffer: Gus Poyet said he now believes in miracles after Sunderland survived from a seemingly impossible position last season. Having achieved that and a Capital One Cup final, his goal now is to avoid yet another relegation dogfight.
Prediction: As much as Sunderland want to avoid being a club always involved at the wrong end, their lack of fire-power and of improvements to their defence means more struggle is likely. But they should again pull through.
Swansea City
Last Season In Four Words: Rockier than previous years
What Do They Want?: A less depressing campaign. For the first time in a long time, Swansea had a difficult campaign, with reports of players fighting each other being leaked around the time of Michael Laudrup's departure. Garry Monk has so far won only 4 Premier League games, but the atmosphere does look better, and they should be less toxic in atmosphere, which can only be a good thing.
Transfers: Some bigger names have flown the coop this summer, with Michu joining Napoli on loan and Michel Vorm and Ben Davies both moving to Spurs. The slightly less high-profile names of David N'Gog, Leroy Lita and Alejandro Pozuelo have also left. There have been incomings, with the biggest that of Gylfi Sigurdsson, who returns two years after a successful loan spell in South Wales. Also signing are Marseille winger Jefferson Montero, Arsenal goalkeeper Lukas Fabianski, Bafetimibi Gomis of Lyon, and highly rated Scottish youngster Stephen Kingsley. There is also a return for Marvin Emnes, who was on loan for the second half of last season at the Welsh club.
Ones To Watch: Wilfred Bony remains in South Wales after a prolific first year and rumours of a move to Liverpool. The Welsh side will be hoping he doesn't fall to second season syndrome like Michu did. The likes of Sigurdsson, Montero, Jonathan de Guzman, Pablo Hernandez and Nathan Dyer will be very handy supply lines, while Fabianski will look to ensure Vorm is not missed.
The Gaffer: Centre-back Garry Monk has long been anticipated as a future Swans manager after playing for the Welsh club in all 4 tiers, but was thrown in at the deep end after Laudrup was sacked. Now a bit more used to top tier management, he will be hoping to go places.
Prediction: With no Europa League distraction and a diluting of the club's Spanish clique, Swansea should be in line for a less divisive campaign, and should provide football closer to their 2012-13 high than the lull of last season.
Tottenham Hotspur
Last Season In Four Words: Wasted the Bale money
What Do They Want?: Champions League football remains the goal of the Spurs' fans. Failing that, a trophy should also work. At the very least, improvements are expected on last season, which saw the North Londoners lose all their games against the top 4 and claimed two unpopular managers (albeit for differing reasons).
Transfers: Unlike last year, Spurs have been quite frugal. Highly rated youth defender Eric Dier is a very decent signing at £4million, while the club have also bought in Swansea duo Michel Vorm and Ben Davies, in a deal that sends Gylfi Sigurdsson to South Wales. Jake Livermore and Gomes also make their exits.
Ones To Watch: Emannuel Adebayor had a season of two-halves, and will be hoping to show form closer to the more successful second half. Harry Kane also begun to score towards the end of last season and will be hopeful of impressing. Christian Eriksen will look to maintain his playmaking form of last year, while Erik Lamela faces a big season after a dreadful first year in England.
The Gaffer: Mauricio Pochettino certainly has a number of admirers after his impressive year and a half stint at Southampton. Now in the ball park of much bigger cash, the man who perhaps preceded Southampton's mass exodus has to figure out a way to reach the Champions League.
Prediction: Spurs still feel short of quality players for a legitimate top 4 challenge. Pochettino is perhaps better off looking to challenge for silverware, be it in the Europa League or in the cups, but a top 6 finish is still a minimum and possible.
West Bromwich Albion
Last Season In Four Words: Three worse teams existed
What Do They Want?: A significantly less depressing season than the previous one.
Transfers: The biggest incoming is that of a club record transfer, with £10million striker Brown Ideye moving from Dynamo Kiev to the West Midlands. Full-backs Jason Davidson and Sebastian Pocognoli are the club's other paid-for signings, while Craig Gardner, Joelon Lescott and Chris Baird arrive on free transfers, and Andre Wisdom and Christian Gamboa join on loans. Steven Reid, Liam Ridgewell, Billy Jones, Diego Lugano and Zoltan Gera all make their exits on frees, while George Thorne rejoins Derby after being on loan there last season.
Ones To Watch: Much is expected of club record signing Ideye, although visa issues and Irvine's comments of "never seeing him play" before signing him haven't really helped. Saido Berahino was the club's top scorer last year and may wind up having to be a line leader, while Ben Foster is set to a have busy year marshalling a new build defence. He will certainly hope Lescott still has something in the tank.
The Gaffer: Alan Irvine was a controversial appointment amongst Baggies fans, considering his only first team jobs so far have been sub-par stints at Preston and Sheffield Wednesday. Whether or not he has the chops to succeed as a Premier League manager makes him an unknown quantity, and one that could still backfire.
Prediction: West Brom had a difficult year in 2013-14 filled with all manner of unhelpful chaos. This will be quieter, but it has the air of finality, with a squad full of untested players and in a kit that looks nothing like a West Brom one should very much giving off the feeling of a team set to go down.
West Ham United
Last Season In Four Words: Survived, but not happily
What Do They Want?: Its not exactly certain. West Ham are a club with a tradition for making things unnecessarily difficult for themselves and already have striker problems, with injuries and World Cup based exhaustion not helping. All fans would certainly love to avoid more relegation worries.
Transfers: To compensate for Andy Carroll being injured yet again, West Ham have spent big cash on strikers, with Ecuadorian international Enner Valencia and one time Birmingham striker Mauro Zarate coming in. Defenders Carl Jenkinson, Aaron Cresswell and Cheikhou Zouyate also move to East London, while highly rated youngster Diego Poyet moves across the capital from Charlton. Joe Cole, Matt Taylor, Jack Collison, Jordan Spence and George McCartney leave for nothing.
Ones To Watch: After a decent World Cup and links with other teams, Valencia will look to show he can cut it in Europe. He will likely vie for places with Carlton Cole, who is still on board. Adrian became something of a cult hero last season, and will look to remain the Hammers' first choice goalkeeper, while captain Kevin Nolan will look to show the form that saw him score five times in February rather than the side that earned two red cards either side of Christmas.
The Gaffer: Sam Allardyce remains a controversial and largely hated figure at Upton Park, with some rumours even indicating he could be fired before the big kick-off.
Prediction: Mid-table is something that Sam Allardyce is proficient at, even with the odd dose of mild relegation peril. Mid-table is also something that West Ham will be come the end of the campaign.
The anticipation amongst fans that these teams can meet their biggest aspirational goals however remains high, and next week begins the exciting journey where we see who will fulfill their maximum potential to light up the 2014-15 Premier League season. Bring it on.
The anticipation for another stellar campaign is high after months of top quality football. Despite some notable departures, all the teams have been busy in this pre-season accumulating top quality new transfers, and it promises to be another exciting season.
All 20 teams come in at least all with hopes and dreams high, and now is the time fans can be dream of success before reality kicks-in next week. So... what can we expect from each of the 20 teams?
Arsenal
Last Season In Four Words: Led table then imploded
What Do They Want?: A title challenge. After breaking their nine year trophy drought and making their strongest title challenge since blowing the lead in 2010/11, Arsenal are now trying to cultivate a team capable of a title challenge. There are hints the squad is being cultivated for a proper tilt at a prize Arsenal last lifted in 2004.
Transfers: The biggest individual spending on one player in the Premier League so far is for Alexis Sanchez, who Arsenal have recruited for £35million. After Manchester City signed Bacary Sagna, Arsenal opted to buy two new right-backs, spending a total of £28M on Newcastle's Mathieu Debuchy and Southampton youngster Calum Chambers. Nice goalkeeper David Ospina has also joined as a replacement for Lukas Fabianski, who has joined Swansea, while Nicklas Bendtner has now made his long-overdue exit. Carl Jenkinson has joined West Ham on loan, while his fellow defender Thomas Vermaelen also looks set to leave, with Barcelona his likely destination.
Ones To Watch: Sanchez's arrival in England has been highly anticipated and Arsenal have high hopes that he can be a success in English football. Also hoped for highly is Mesut Ozil, who had a difficult first year in England after joining for £42M on deadline day last year. Aaron Ramsey's form last year also means big things are expected.
The Gaffer: Arsene Wenger reached 1000 games as Arsenal manager last season and celebrated by receiving a 6-0 thumping at Chelsea. But after ending Arsenal's nine year trophy drought, hopes are high he can rectify their wait for a first Premier League since 2004.
Prediction: A title challenge could be in line for Arsenal, but they still need additional options in defence, and if one of their first choice centre-back pairing gets injured, they will struggle. But a top 3 finish should be achievable.
Aston Villa
Last Season In Four Words: Survived relegation once again
What Do They Want?: Same expectation. Relegation would be catastrophic for an Aston Villa side that has been ever-present in the top flight since 1975, and despite owner Randy Lerner still looking for a way out after being unable to sell the club during the off-season, Lambert has to maintain Villa's Premier League status.
Transfers: After dallying with youth, Paul Lambert's purchasing so far has been for experience. Kieran Richardson and Phillipe Senderos will retain Premier League status after being released by relegated Fulham, while Joe Cole moves from West Ham. There's also returns to the fold for Alan Hutton and Darren Bent, who spent most of last season out on loan. Jordan Bowery, Marc Albrighton and Nathan Delfouenso make their exits, while Nicklas Helenius and Yacouba Sylla leave on loan.
Ones To Watch: With Christian Benteke out until November, Darren Bent faces a big season as he seeks to prove why Villa paid £24M for him in 2011. After patchy seasons last year, Andreas Weimann and Gabby Agbonlahor also have to step up, while Brad Guzan has to keep his form.
The Gaffer: After coming into frequent criticism last year, this is a big season for Paul Lambert, who is facing the challenge of a reluctant owner and lack of funding. Once again, Villa seem like they could be in for a struggle of a campaign, and many already have earmarked new assistant manager Roy Keane for the permanent job if things go awry.
Prediction: There's no bones about it - Villa are now a team that is going to struggle, and with uninspiring new signings and a manager nobody at the club likes, its going to be another difficult season. Villa fans just have to hope there's three teams worse than them.
Burnley
Last Season In Four Words: Deservedly secured surprise promotion
What Do They Want?: Survival. There is no other modus operandi for the Clarets as they return to the Premier League for the first time in five seasons.
Transfers: Securing Premier League experience is Burnley's priority, with Blackpool goalkeeper Matt Gilks, West Brom's Steven Reid and West Ham's Matt Taylor signed up. Stoke winger Michael Kightly moves to Turf Moor after a successful loan spell last season, while Middlesbrough striker Lukas Jutkiewicz and Bolton forward Marvin Sordell also make moves to Lancashire. Chris Baird, David Edgar and Junior Stanislas are among those who depart. Burnley have said more buys are desired, and certainly a thin midfield could use bulking up.
Ones To Watch: Burnley's success in getting to the league was built on the Championship's firmest defence and the extremely potent front-line combination of Danny Ings and Sam Vokes. The importance of both these groups maintaining their second tier form cannot be overstated, while whichever pick of Matt Gilks and Tom Heaton as their Premier League number one faces a busy year.
The Gaffer: Nicknamed the Ginger Mourinho by the Clarets' supporters, Sean Dyche is approaching his fourth season as a manager and his biggest challenge. Appropriately he kicks off against the actual Mourinho, which is as good a test as any, and Burnley fans will be hopeful he can deliver at the higher level.
Prediction: Burnley have been routinely given a "little club in big world" sheen since their promotion was confirmed and will hopefully shut up the press by beating a big name. But sadly, a small squad with little Premier League experience does have the air of one that will slink out of the league at the first attempt.
Chelsea
Last Season In Four Words: Special One not enough
What Do They Want?: The Premier League title. They got close last year, and had the best run out of the meetings of the top 6 clubs, but carelessly and frequently dropped points against teams fighting for survival.
Transfers: This has been a big scene change for Chelsea, with veterans Frank Lampard and Ashley Cole leaving after highly decorated spells with the club. One veteran, however, has come back into Chelsea, with Didier Drogba rejoining some 2 years after leaving. The big incomings are Cesc Fabregas and Diego Costa, who make huge money moves from La Liga. Costa's Atletico Madrid full back Filipe Luis has also moved from the Spanish champions to England. Samuel Eto'o has also departed, while PSG blew £50million on David Luiz - something his World Cup semi-final performance did little to justify. £28million has also been received for Romelu Lukaku, who has rejoined Everton, while Demba Ba has joined Besiktas.
Ones To Watch: Diego Costa will seek to bring to England the form from his La Liga splurge last year, and not his abject World Cup form that saw him drag down the World Champions. Its also a big year for Fabregas as he seeks to replace Lampard, while after spending 2 years on loan with Atletico, Thibaut Courtois could be a legitimate challenger for the number one goalkeeper spot.
The Gaffer: 2013/14 was a disappointment for Jose Mourinho, whose mind games hit overdrive but weren't backed up by success. Following that, Mourinho has to deliver something now and reward the rare stay of execution that Roman Abrahmovic has given a man who delivered a trophyless season.
Prediction: The bookies' favourites for the title are indeed Mourinho's boys and critical consensus is that it'll be a straight fight between them and Manchester City for the league title. It should be, and if Mourinho can iron out the tendency to give strugglers results, it should be theirs.
Crystal Palace
Last Season In Four Words: Pulis transformation extended stay
What Do They Want?: Its a job to know. The miraculous turnaround in form should, in theory, have heightened expectations for the Eagles, yet its also a feeling that they would be happy just to maintain Premier League survival.
Transfers: Compared to last season's scattergun high quantity summer transfer window, the incomings have been quite quiet. Three have come in, with Cardiff striker Fraizer Campbell the only one signing for a transfer fee. Experienced centre-back Brede Hangeland and young goalkeeper Chris Kettings are free signings. Jose Campana leaves on an undisclosed fee, while Jonathan Parr, Danny Gabbidon, Kagisho Dikgacoi, Dean Moxey and Aaron Wilbraham leave on free transfers.
Ones To Watch: After a season spent mostly injured, this is a big season for Glenn Murray, who was top scorer as Palace got promoted and who has fallen down the pecking order. Marouane Chamakh and the pacy Campbell should be good front runners with him, while Joel Ward had a brilliant first Premier League campaign and should impress again.
The Gaffer: The impressive turnaround last season means Tony Pulis has kept his enviable record of never being relegated, and also won a Manager of the Year award. Now the next step is presumably maintaining that score.
Prediction: A second consecutive top flight season is almost unheard of territory for a whole generation of Palace fans. But this vintage should be more than good enough to prolong this stay for another term.
Everton
Last Season In Four Words: Fitted in at top
What Do They Want?: Champions League football is the ultimate aim. Roberto Martinez even said so himself when he took over at Everton last year that the ultimate goal was to get the Toffees into the top 4 and they were very close to achieving it in year one. Anything below 5th would be seen as backwards, so Everton's goal is surely to challenge for the top four once again.
Transfers: The big ask for Everton's summer dealings was to replace last season's loan stars, but the good news for them was to sign two of them permanently. Gareth Barry's move on a free after his release by Manchester City was expected, but the Toffees then spent the big cash, with a club record £28million spent on securing Romelu Lukaku on a permanent deal. Gerard Deulofeu is not returning after his loan from Barcelona expired, but Everton have still strengthened their midfield, with Muhamed Besic moving to Goodison Park. Youngster Brendan Galloway also comes in, while Apostos Velious is the biggest name leaving.
Ones To Watch: After his impressive first year on Merseyside, Lukaku will seek to justify the faith shown in him to such a large degree. The same can also be said of Ross Barkley, who is already being talked of as the future of the England team after a dynamite season in 13-14. The bombing full-backs Seamus Coleman and Leighton Baines will also want to show more of their good form.
The Gaffer: Roberto Martinez has had a decent few seasons, be it several fine relegation escapes at Wigan before signing off with their first ever FA Cup trophy, and then coming close to getting Everton their first top 4 finish in almost a decade. He will want to continue this streak.
Prediction: The top 4 looks beyond Everton at present, but then it did a year ago so its hard to predict. At the very least they should get a top 6 place again and also look to challenge for silverware.
Hull City
Last Season In Four Words: Survived on early form
What Do They Want?: Avoid second season syndrome. Like Crystal Palace, Hull surpassed expectations significantly by surviving last year, but were largely poor in the second half of the campaign. As its a known idea that teams who end a season poorly can start the following season in similarly bad fashion, Hull have to avoid falling into this trap, and juggle the Europa League too.
Transfers: With Europa League on Hull's fixture list after their FA Cup runner-up position last year, strengthening was needed. So far, the midfield has received the bulk of Steve Bruce's attention, with Jake Livermore returning after a successful loan spell, Robert Snodgrass moving after being relegated with Norwich, and Tom Ince turning down Inter to sign on a free. Young defenders Harry Maguire and Andy Robertson also move to Humberside, while Matty Fyratt, Abdoulaye Faye and Robert Koren lead the outs.
Ones To Watch: The likely new widemen of Snodgrass and Ince are seeking to justify their faith, with the former falling out with fans at Norwich and the latter unable to make an impact at Crystal Palace during a loan spell last year. The jump to the top flight promises to be interesting for Maguire and Robertson, while the January-bought strikeforce of Shane Long and Nikica Jelavic really needs a scoring spree.
The Gaffer: Steve Bruce had arguably his best ever season last year and will be hoping more survival and a good European challenge can continue this renaissance he is having after his dismissal from Sunderland in 2011.
Prediction: Hull do have a squad capable of playing in the Premier League and once more should retain their status. As for Europe, they have a winnable tie with Lokeren but will most likely struggle in the group stage.
Leicester City
Last Season In Four Words: Promotion always looked certain
What Do They Want?: Like all promoted teams, the minimum is survival. This season will be a different vibe for the Foxes, who dominated the 2nd tier last year, and they have to be sure to be cut out for a season where they will not be in charge every week.
Transfers: Like Burnley, Leicester require Premier League experience. Brighton centre-half Matthew Upson and Aston Villa winger Matt Albrighton have had some Premier League experience, and could prove astute signings on freebies. A club record £7million has been spent on Brighton's Leonardo Ulloa, while Charlton keeper Ben Hamer and Manchester United youngsters Jack Barmby and Louis Rowley join on free transfers. Lloyd Dyer, Neil Danns, Sean St. Ledger and Paul Gallagher lead the outs.
Ones To Watch: After reportedly turning down Arsenal and AC Milan to extend his contract, Kasper Schmeichel is back in the top flight and the Foxes' custodian will seek to prove he shares his father's talents between the posts. The front duo of David Nugent and Jamie Vardy were impressive in getting Leicester into the top tier, while new signing Ulloa will need to get in and score to justify £7million worth of faith.
The Gaffer: Nigel Pearson is in his second spell as Leicester boss, and is now in the 3rd different tier he's managed the Foxes in. His only two Premier League games so far saw him pick up one point and a 6-0 hammering as Newcastle caretaker, but he has earned his chance.
Prediction: Leicester's run through to the top flight does give them hope and they certainly do look reasonably placed to give survival a real go. They should make it, but it won't be a comfortable journey.
Liverpool
Last Season In Four Words: A whisker from glory
What Do They Want?: If not the Premier League title, then at least another convincing run at it. The loss of Luis Suarez will no doubt hurt, but having come within one fatal slip by Gerrard of winning the title, the Reds will want another shot at the prize that has eluded them for 24 years.
Transfers: One year after a summer dominated by "will he leave, won't he" shenanigans, Liverpool finally let Luis Suarez go. Barcelona duly whacked out a reported £70million for him, despite the fact his latest bite means he won't play until November. With him gone, Liverpool duly begun signing up Southampton, with Adam Lallana, Rickie Lambert and Dejan Lovren moving from Hampshire to Merseyside. Benfica's Lazar Markovic is their other major signing in attack, while Bayer Leverkusen defender Emre Can and Atletico Madrid full back Javier Manquilo also moves in. Belgian World Cup star Divorck Origi did sign but will stay at Lille on loan for a year, while Pepe Reina ends his 9 year association with the club and joins Bayern Munich.
Ones To Watch: With Suarez now gone, Daniel Sturridge faces a big season as line-leader. To his credit he did score in all but one of the games before Suarez returned last year, but he will now have to step up his contribution. A likely new attacking midfield trio of Lallana, Markovic and Raheem Sterling will excite fans - as will Phillipe Coutinho, who's still there - while Steven Gerrard has a big season after the traumatic end to the previous one and an awful World Cup.
The Gaffer: Brendan Rodgers has come a long way since being fired by Reading in 2009, but the former Chelsea youth coach is cutting his own in management. His first season of Champions League football will certainly be a big test.
Prediction: A title challenge may have come if Suarez hadn't decided to force through a transfer by biting opponents. As it is now, Champions League spots should be the goal, and Liverpool should keep them.
Manchester City
Last Season In Four Words: Won league through outscoring
What Do They Want?: More success. Be it retaining the title, retaining the Capital One Cup, lifting the FA Cup or even a first real go at the Champions League, Manchester City's project is now reaping rewards and it is likely owners, fans and staff would want more success.
Transfers: Unusually, Manchester City have been quite quiet on the transfer front. There is a free incoming unusually too, with Bacary Sagna moving for nothing from Arsenal. Equally surprising is the arrival of Frank Lampard, who joins on loan from New York City FC after his release by Chelsea and move to the Man City-owned US franchise. Malaga goalkeeper Willy Caballero and Porto midfielder Fernando are also incoming, while Jack Rodwell, Costel Pantillimon, Joleon Lescott and Gareth Barry all leave to join other Premier League outfits.
Ones To Watch: Yaya Toure is still in town after his bizarre birthday cake rant at the end of last season and may have to prove he's not sad at still being in town. Elsewhere, the usual suspects of Sergio Aguero, Edin Dzeko, Samir Nasri, David Silva and even Stefan Jovetic will be dangerous, while an intriguing battle for the number one goalkeeper slot beckons between Joe Hart and Caballero.
The Gaffer: Manuel Pellegrini's first English season was undoubtedly a success. A Premier League title and Capital One Cup certainly belied accusations he was an expert in failure after he failed to win trophies with Real Madrid, and he will look for more success next season.
Prediction: Only Chelsea and Manchester United have delivered back-to-back titles in the Premier League era, but Man City do have the squad to at least try. They will no doubt be among the title contenders come the final straight, and it will surely come down to their results against their rivals.
Manchester United
Last Season In Four Words: Moyes didn't work out
What Do They Want?: A return to the Champions League at the very least. What future Manchester United fans will presumably refer to as "the Moyes interlude" was a a damaging campaign that saw, for the first time in a generation, the Red Devils struggle. Louis van Gaal's first mission is at least to get the Red Devils back into the lucrative big league.
Transfers: The big news is that Ryan Giggs will no longer play for Manchester United, with the Welshman joining Louis van Gaal's backroom staff. On incomings, and like they did last year, Manchester United have been linked with bigger names than who they signed, but this time, they have actually bought before the season. Big money too, with Southampton full back Luke Shaw and Athletic Bilbao Ander Herrera joining for a combined fee of over £55million. Three of Fergusons multi-title winning defence in 2006-09 have left, with Nemanja Vidic and Rio Ferdinand leaving on frees, and Patrice Evra joining Juventus.
Ones To Watch: Wayne Rooney and Robin van Persie formed an exciting pairing when the Red Devils won the league in 2012-13 but faltered last year. Both need to improve, while Juan Mata and Shiniji Kagawa will compete to be the main link man. Ashley Young had a good pre-season and will hope to carry this into the league season, while Luke Shaw will seek to justify his big bucks move.
The Gaffer: Virtually straight off the plane from leading Holland to 3rd at the World Cup, Louis van Gaal is a good pick to try and resurrect a team that hilariously failed. The Dutchman has won league titles in three European leagues and has even talked of winning one in England already.
Prediction: A title challenge is dreamed of after van Gaal's World Cup success, but they still don't have a title-winning defence or midfield. A return to the Champions League is the minimum, but they still feel like they need work done. Top five should at least be achieved.
Newcastle United
Last Season In Four Words: Hideously damaging second half
What Do They Want?: Less toxicity. The second half of the 2013/14 campaign was a bad time for Newcastle, be it the bizarre sight of manager Alan Pardew headbutting opponents, loss of form, arguments between players and more. Pardew has made words that the squad's buying policy is targeted at getting the club in the top four, but an improvement from 10th place would still be a start.
Transfers: After the inaction of 2013-14, Newcastle have been surprisingly busy. Three new midfielders have signed, with Sunderland's Jack Colback, Ajax captain Siem de Jong and Montpellier wideman Remy Cabella all incoming. Dutch full-back Daryl Janmaat is also incoming as a replacement for Mathieu Debuchy, who joined Arsenal, while Monaco striker Emannuel Riviere and Spanish young forward Ayoze Perez have also moved to Tyneside. There is also the loan signing of Facundo Ferreyra from Shakthar Donetsk, while Nottingham Forest duo Karl Darlow and Jamaal Lascelles have signed, but will be loaned back to Forest for this season. Shola Ameobi has left after 14 years on Tyneside, while Loic Remy has returned to QPR after a successful loan spell.
Ones To Watch: The attack will likely be lead by de Jong and Cabella in the advanced slots, while youngster Rolando Aarons has also impressed. The three new strikers will look to hit the ground running in a new country to replace Remy's goals, while after frequent thrashings, the defence needs to tighten up.
The Gaffer: Alan Pardew's position was on shaky ground after the Newcastle manager's moment of brain-dead idiocy when he headbutted a Hull City player last season. To the dismay of some fans, he remains in charge and needs to justify both that faith and the spending spree very quickly.
Prediction: As much as they want a return to the top 4, that will probably be beyond Newcastle for this season. But a tilt at the top six or a cup is not beyond the Magpies, and they should at least avoid weekly thrashings as they were getting at the end of the previous campaign.
Queens Park Rangers
Last Season In Four Words: Grabbed last gasp promotion
What Do They Want?: Not to crash and burn. QPR's last Premier League season was an unmitigated disaster on every level, and having almost screwed up promotion despite leading the way in the 2nd tier for the first third of the campaign, QPR could use a boring, slow season.
Transfers: It looked as though QPR may not have learned their lesson from their last Premier League escapade when Rio Ferdinand made a move for big wages to Loftus Road. In a different line of signing, the Hoops signed Steven Caulker from Cardiff City, with his teammate Jordan Mutch then following him from South Wales. Full-back Mauricio Isla also moves to West London, on a year long from Juventus. Yossi Benayoun signalled his move back to Israel with a Twitter spat with Joey Barton over the Israel/Gaza conflict, while Stephan MBia, Esteban Granero, Andy Johnson and Aaron Hughes are also among the exits.
Ones To Watch: Ferdinand has to justify the faith with the kind of defensive performance that made him a 6 time Premier League champion with Manchester United. Caulker alongside should be a robust pairing. The return of Loic Remy after a year on loan at Newcastle and his failed move to Liverpool should provide goals.
The Gaffer: Harry Redknapp has said he would have retired if QPR had failed to win promotion last year. Having now made it back to the top flight, some of the form that led him to almost getting the England job might help the West Londoners.
Prediction: QPR's last two seasons as a top flight club have involved relegation battles and QPR will almost certainly be there once more, but they should have more than enough to ensure they're not on the wrong side of the relegation zone in May.
Southampton
Last Season In Four Words: Fuelled by young fire
What Do They Want?: The avoidance of a catastrophic regression is the must, but that will not be easy. Southampton's out door has been substantially busier than the in door, and much work is needed to ensure this doesn't spill over into a catastrophic tumble down the table.
Transfers: This has been a brutal summer for Saints fans, with Adam Lallana, Rickie Lambert, Dejan Lovren, Luke Shaw and Calum Chambers all making big money exits, along with manager Mauricio Pochettino, and many more linked with exits. Dani Osvaldo has left on loan, but despite heavy speculation, Morgan Schneiderlin and Jay Rodriguez remain. Feyernood striker Graziano Pelle and Twente midfielder Dusan Tadic have been Ronald Koeman's first signings in Hampshire since being appointed, while Chelsea's Ryan Bertrand and Inter Milan midfielder Saphir Taider join on loan, but more is clearly required. Celtic goalkeeper Fraser Forster is likely to be next after a fee was agreed.
Ones To Watch: This could be a big season for Gaston Ramirez, who was Southampton's record signing when they returned to the top flight in 2012 and has spent most of his time behind Adam Lallana in the pecking order. James Ward-Prowse will also be a key man for this new Saints team, while Tadic and Pelle have to adjust quickly.
The Gaffer: Ronald Koeman has had a hit-and-miss career, with trophy wins in some places counteracted by relegation dogfights in others. But the man famous for his free-kicks as a player could be a decent choice by the currently unloved Saints owners.
Prediction: There will be a tumble from last season's 8th position, as the team is missing many of the talents that got them up to such a strong position. But while some bookmakers have been overly keen to slash their relegation odds, they will most likely be midtable.
Stoke City
Last Season In Four Words: Looked better than ever
What Do They Want?: A continuation. Its easy to forget Stoke were in a relegation battle as recently as February, but their impressive form saw them soar into a record high points total as Mark Hughes' structural blueprint clicked. Now the goal is to ensure their second half form in 2013/14 continues.
Transfers: The biggest name and perhaps most surprising signing in the Potteries is Bojan, with the former Barcelona striker joining on a free and leading to fanciful rumours Ronaldinho might follow him in. Former Manchester United striker Mame Biriam Diouf, Sunderland's Phil Bardsley and Fulham's Steve Sidwell are also free signings. Slovakian defender Dionatan Teixera is Stoke's only paid-for signing so far, while Michael Kightly and Matthew Etherington make their exits.
Ones To Watch: A new strikeforce of Diouf and Bojan has great potential and does hint to life after Peter Crouch, although he should still chip in with a few goals. Mauro Arnautovic and Peter Odemwingie will look to continue their form last year, as will Asmir Begovic, who once again impressed in goal and even scored one last year.
The Gaffer: Mark Hughes was a controversial appointment last year following his failure at QPR, but turned things around. Now, he will seek to build up a team that is starting to show signs of potential.
Prediction: Top half is what Stoke got last year and they certainly have potential to maintain and perhaps even improve on last year's 9th spot. Whether they do is one for fate to decide.
Sunderland
Last Season In Four Words: Miracle kept them up
What Do They Want?: A slightly more boring season. Two chaotic relegation battles have seen them go through 3 managers, several dozen players and bizarre episodes of form. After all, last year its easy to forget they failed to win between a 3-0 thrashing of Newcastle on their turf and ending Jose Mourinho's unbeaten home run as Chelsea boss, and then winning at Manchester United for good measure. So something a bit less insane might help relax the fans.
Transfers: Like a number of other Premier League clubs, free has been the order of the day so far, although more are expected. The Black Cats have signed Wigan's Jordi Gomez, Man City goalkeeper Costel Pantilimon and the West Brom full back Billy Jones on frees, while Santiago Vergini rejoins on loan. The big signing is Manchester City midfielder Jack Rodwell, while Chelsea full-back Patrick van Aanholt is the only other paid-for player. Keiren Westwood, Carlos Cuellar, Andrea Dossena, Phil Bardsley and Craig Gardner leave on frees, while no transfer fee was exchanged in the controversial transfer of Jack Colback, who became the first player in 22 years to directly move from Sunderland to Newcastle.
Ones To Watch: So far, Fabio Borini has yet to make his loan move from Liverpool permanent, which puts pressure on Connor Wickham to continue his scoring form at the end of last season. Gomez will also be likely to chip in with a few strikes of his own, while at the back, Vito Mannone will once again be called upon to keep the rearguard area as concession-free as possible.
The Gaffer: Gus Poyet said he now believes in miracles after Sunderland survived from a seemingly impossible position last season. Having achieved that and a Capital One Cup final, his goal now is to avoid yet another relegation dogfight.
Prediction: As much as Sunderland want to avoid being a club always involved at the wrong end, their lack of fire-power and of improvements to their defence means more struggle is likely. But they should again pull through.
Swansea City
Last Season In Four Words: Rockier than previous years
What Do They Want?: A less depressing campaign. For the first time in a long time, Swansea had a difficult campaign, with reports of players fighting each other being leaked around the time of Michael Laudrup's departure. Garry Monk has so far won only 4 Premier League games, but the atmosphere does look better, and they should be less toxic in atmosphere, which can only be a good thing.
Transfers: Some bigger names have flown the coop this summer, with Michu joining Napoli on loan and Michel Vorm and Ben Davies both moving to Spurs. The slightly less high-profile names of David N'Gog, Leroy Lita and Alejandro Pozuelo have also left. There have been incomings, with the biggest that of Gylfi Sigurdsson, who returns two years after a successful loan spell in South Wales. Also signing are Marseille winger Jefferson Montero, Arsenal goalkeeper Lukas Fabianski, Bafetimibi Gomis of Lyon, and highly rated Scottish youngster Stephen Kingsley. There is also a return for Marvin Emnes, who was on loan for the second half of last season at the Welsh club.
Ones To Watch: Wilfred Bony remains in South Wales after a prolific first year and rumours of a move to Liverpool. The Welsh side will be hoping he doesn't fall to second season syndrome like Michu did. The likes of Sigurdsson, Montero, Jonathan de Guzman, Pablo Hernandez and Nathan Dyer will be very handy supply lines, while Fabianski will look to ensure Vorm is not missed.
The Gaffer: Centre-back Garry Monk has long been anticipated as a future Swans manager after playing for the Welsh club in all 4 tiers, but was thrown in at the deep end after Laudrup was sacked. Now a bit more used to top tier management, he will be hoping to go places.
Prediction: With no Europa League distraction and a diluting of the club's Spanish clique, Swansea should be in line for a less divisive campaign, and should provide football closer to their 2012-13 high than the lull of last season.
Tottenham Hotspur
Last Season In Four Words: Wasted the Bale money
What Do They Want?: Champions League football remains the goal of the Spurs' fans. Failing that, a trophy should also work. At the very least, improvements are expected on last season, which saw the North Londoners lose all their games against the top 4 and claimed two unpopular managers (albeit for differing reasons).
Transfers: Unlike last year, Spurs have been quite frugal. Highly rated youth defender Eric Dier is a very decent signing at £4million, while the club have also bought in Swansea duo Michel Vorm and Ben Davies, in a deal that sends Gylfi Sigurdsson to South Wales. Jake Livermore and Gomes also make their exits.
Ones To Watch: Emannuel Adebayor had a season of two-halves, and will be hoping to show form closer to the more successful second half. Harry Kane also begun to score towards the end of last season and will be hopeful of impressing. Christian Eriksen will look to maintain his playmaking form of last year, while Erik Lamela faces a big season after a dreadful first year in England.
The Gaffer: Mauricio Pochettino certainly has a number of admirers after his impressive year and a half stint at Southampton. Now in the ball park of much bigger cash, the man who perhaps preceded Southampton's mass exodus has to figure out a way to reach the Champions League.
Prediction: Spurs still feel short of quality players for a legitimate top 4 challenge. Pochettino is perhaps better off looking to challenge for silverware, be it in the Europa League or in the cups, but a top 6 finish is still a minimum and possible.
West Bromwich Albion
Last Season In Four Words: Three worse teams existed
What Do They Want?: A significantly less depressing season than the previous one.
Transfers: The biggest incoming is that of a club record transfer, with £10million striker Brown Ideye moving from Dynamo Kiev to the West Midlands. Full-backs Jason Davidson and Sebastian Pocognoli are the club's other paid-for signings, while Craig Gardner, Joelon Lescott and Chris Baird arrive on free transfers, and Andre Wisdom and Christian Gamboa join on loans. Steven Reid, Liam Ridgewell, Billy Jones, Diego Lugano and Zoltan Gera all make their exits on frees, while George Thorne rejoins Derby after being on loan there last season.
Ones To Watch: Much is expected of club record signing Ideye, although visa issues and Irvine's comments of "never seeing him play" before signing him haven't really helped. Saido Berahino was the club's top scorer last year and may wind up having to be a line leader, while Ben Foster is set to a have busy year marshalling a new build defence. He will certainly hope Lescott still has something in the tank.
The Gaffer: Alan Irvine was a controversial appointment amongst Baggies fans, considering his only first team jobs so far have been sub-par stints at Preston and Sheffield Wednesday. Whether or not he has the chops to succeed as a Premier League manager makes him an unknown quantity, and one that could still backfire.
Prediction: West Brom had a difficult year in 2013-14 filled with all manner of unhelpful chaos. This will be quieter, but it has the air of finality, with a squad full of untested players and in a kit that looks nothing like a West Brom one should very much giving off the feeling of a team set to go down.
West Ham United
Last Season In Four Words: Survived, but not happily
What Do They Want?: Its not exactly certain. West Ham are a club with a tradition for making things unnecessarily difficult for themselves and already have striker problems, with injuries and World Cup based exhaustion not helping. All fans would certainly love to avoid more relegation worries.
Transfers: To compensate for Andy Carroll being injured yet again, West Ham have spent big cash on strikers, with Ecuadorian international Enner Valencia and one time Birmingham striker Mauro Zarate coming in. Defenders Carl Jenkinson, Aaron Cresswell and Cheikhou Zouyate also move to East London, while highly rated youngster Diego Poyet moves across the capital from Charlton. Joe Cole, Matt Taylor, Jack Collison, Jordan Spence and George McCartney leave for nothing.
Ones To Watch: After a decent World Cup and links with other teams, Valencia will look to show he can cut it in Europe. He will likely vie for places with Carlton Cole, who is still on board. Adrian became something of a cult hero last season, and will look to remain the Hammers' first choice goalkeeper, while captain Kevin Nolan will look to show the form that saw him score five times in February rather than the side that earned two red cards either side of Christmas.
The Gaffer: Sam Allardyce remains a controversial and largely hated figure at Upton Park, with some rumours even indicating he could be fired before the big kick-off.
Prediction: Mid-table is something that Sam Allardyce is proficient at, even with the odd dose of mild relegation peril. Mid-table is also something that West Ham will be come the end of the campaign.
The anticipation amongst fans that these teams can meet their biggest aspirational goals however remains high, and next week begins the exciting journey where we see who will fulfill their maximum potential to light up the 2014-15 Premier League season. Bring it on.
Wednesday, 6 August 2014
The Inbetweeners 2 - Film Review
ITS one interesting success story to see a sitcom on a non-terrestrial TV channel to spawn a box office topping "lads on tour" movie. Its another to try it again, and with the same premise.
The Inbetweeners was perhaps the right sitcom for the right time when it first aired in 2007, bringing the tale of four awkward schoolkids uncertain of their place in the school ecosystem to E4. Filled with dirty humour, adolescent crises and more, it is a good incarnation on the small screen. When it made its big screen debut, it had a bit of a hit-and-miss gag rate, and awkwardly ran out of jokes as it neared the final straight. But it proved surprisingly big box office, with the film being the third highest grossing film in the UK in 2011 and the-then highest debut for a comedy in this country.
This is better by virtue of the fact that joke-for-joke, this doesn't run out of steam for the last straight, has some more consistently funny bits, and there is a feeling of more ambition in this piece. This is even from the very well realised Harry Potter parody at the start of the film, and the introduction to Jay (James Buckley) in shots that recall some of the more excessive moments of The Wolf of Wall Street.
The film's prologue is very brief. We're reintroduced to the boys - nerdy Will (Simon Bird) is now an unhappy loner in denial at Bristol University, lovestruck dork Simon (Joe Thomas) is stuck in a psychotic relationship and a sociology degree at Sheffield University, lovable dimwit Neil (Blake Harrison) is now employed and the habitual liar Jay is claiming to be a big DJ in an Australian club with a private mansion full of sexual conquests. Perhaps naturally its quickly revealed he's actually a toilet attendant in the club and lives in a tent in the garden of his Australian uncle.
With Will and Simon hating university and opting to max out their student loans, and Neil in pay of a big bonus, the gang decides to go surprise Jay by going Down Under. And yes, gags of that variety are almost par for the course very quickly.
The Inbetweeners' success was built on a crass dorky humour that those puns are almost designed for. Naturally, this brand of joke is turned up to 11 for the big screen, and there's plenty of sex-based jokes, be it in sight pieces, one-liners, asides, puns, "banter" and all the rest.
This is before the scatological humour, which really is turned up a notch. Granted there were amusing vomit gags in the TV series, but this really has some OTT set-pieces. They are also very well handled.
In terms of the overall humour, however, its hit-and-miss. The heavily trailed piece involving dolphins, for example, is one that doesn't work. But at the very least, comedy films are routinely derided for putting the funniest lines in the trailer and mercifully here, they're not, or at least not in full. Will's cringe-worthy song, for example, was briefly hinted at in the trailer, but in full it is hilariously embarrassing.
The object of Will's desire from his hilariously weird song is Katie (Emily Berrington), who is a girl from Will's prep-school and is part of a troupe of gap yearers claiming they're better than the stereotypical "gap yah" and then behaving exactly like a person on one might.
The fairly one-note "gap yahs" do at least get sent off in a fairly brutal few moments where Will rants about them in brutal and increasingly amusing fashion. From this point, the film suddenly moves away from its disappointingly underused supporting cast of underused/underwritten female parts, stereotyped Aussies and the rest to a more intimate piece just using the main four and set in the eerier Outback - a Wolf Creek vibe, if you will.
This section of the film is perhaps the closest the film has to an emotional core behind the sex and body fluid jokes, and is surprisingly well done. Even if it does have time to fit in one spectacular urine joke.
The focus is still the four boys, who show different evolutions of the tropes that sustained them through their E4 days. There's little of the romantic evolution they experienced in the first film - if anything its regressed on that department - but there is still some decent character development going on.
The big changes is for Jay, who certainly now seems more comfortable in his own skin. For the most part. By contrast, Neil remains as he always was - a good natured simpleton who has some extremely funny lines. Simon is a strange one in this film, given his soppy schtick has been inverted by an underwritten girlfriend (Tamla Kari) who casually destroys all his possessions for unclear reasons. Will, by contrast, remains our sarcastic narrator and a confused man.
The four boys do certainly have the charm and chops to carry this even as it hits moments lacking outright laughs. They're also aided in their vision with some impressive direction, with some magnificently captured shots of the Australian Outback looking very impressive.
Overall, its certainly funnier than the first one, and has the gag rate to make admission worthwhile. In terms of whether or not this is the swansong is here, its an interesting debate - not least given the cast are all now either in or pushing towards their 30s - and one that depends. If this film takes yet another substantial box office haul, then maybe they will return, and certainly, it doesn't have the air of finality to it just yet, even if some of the sex schtick might need a refresh at some stage.
3.5/5
The Inbetweeners was perhaps the right sitcom for the right time when it first aired in 2007, bringing the tale of four awkward schoolkids uncertain of their place in the school ecosystem to E4. Filled with dirty humour, adolescent crises and more, it is a good incarnation on the small screen. When it made its big screen debut, it had a bit of a hit-and-miss gag rate, and awkwardly ran out of jokes as it neared the final straight. But it proved surprisingly big box office, with the film being the third highest grossing film in the UK in 2011 and the-then highest debut for a comedy in this country.
This is better by virtue of the fact that joke-for-joke, this doesn't run out of steam for the last straight, has some more consistently funny bits, and there is a feeling of more ambition in this piece. This is even from the very well realised Harry Potter parody at the start of the film, and the introduction to Jay (James Buckley) in shots that recall some of the more excessive moments of The Wolf of Wall Street.
The film's prologue is very brief. We're reintroduced to the boys - nerdy Will (Simon Bird) is now an unhappy loner in denial at Bristol University, lovestruck dork Simon (Joe Thomas) is stuck in a psychotic relationship and a sociology degree at Sheffield University, lovable dimwit Neil (Blake Harrison) is now employed and the habitual liar Jay is claiming to be a big DJ in an Australian club with a private mansion full of sexual conquests. Perhaps naturally its quickly revealed he's actually a toilet attendant in the club and lives in a tent in the garden of his Australian uncle.
With Will and Simon hating university and opting to max out their student loans, and Neil in pay of a big bonus, the gang decides to go surprise Jay by going Down Under. And yes, gags of that variety are almost par for the course very quickly.
The Inbetweeners' success was built on a crass dorky humour that those puns are almost designed for. Naturally, this brand of joke is turned up to 11 for the big screen, and there's plenty of sex-based jokes, be it in sight pieces, one-liners, asides, puns, "banter" and all the rest.
This is before the scatological humour, which really is turned up a notch. Granted there were amusing vomit gags in the TV series, but this really has some OTT set-pieces. They are also very well handled.
In terms of the overall humour, however, its hit-and-miss. The heavily trailed piece involving dolphins, for example, is one that doesn't work. But at the very least, comedy films are routinely derided for putting the funniest lines in the trailer and mercifully here, they're not, or at least not in full. Will's cringe-worthy song, for example, was briefly hinted at in the trailer, but in full it is hilariously embarrassing.
The object of Will's desire from his hilariously weird song is Katie (Emily Berrington), who is a girl from Will's prep-school and is part of a troupe of gap yearers claiming they're better than the stereotypical "gap yah" and then behaving exactly like a person on one might.
The fairly one-note "gap yahs" do at least get sent off in a fairly brutal few moments where Will rants about them in brutal and increasingly amusing fashion. From this point, the film suddenly moves away from its disappointingly underused supporting cast of underused/underwritten female parts, stereotyped Aussies and the rest to a more intimate piece just using the main four and set in the eerier Outback - a Wolf Creek vibe, if you will.
This section of the film is perhaps the closest the film has to an emotional core behind the sex and body fluid jokes, and is surprisingly well done. Even if it does have time to fit in one spectacular urine joke.
The focus is still the four boys, who show different evolutions of the tropes that sustained them through their E4 days. There's little of the romantic evolution they experienced in the first film - if anything its regressed on that department - but there is still some decent character development going on.
The big changes is for Jay, who certainly now seems more comfortable in his own skin. For the most part. By contrast, Neil remains as he always was - a good natured simpleton who has some extremely funny lines. Simon is a strange one in this film, given his soppy schtick has been inverted by an underwritten girlfriend (Tamla Kari) who casually destroys all his possessions for unclear reasons. Will, by contrast, remains our sarcastic narrator and a confused man.
The four boys do certainly have the charm and chops to carry this even as it hits moments lacking outright laughs. They're also aided in their vision with some impressive direction, with some magnificently captured shots of the Australian Outback looking very impressive.
Overall, its certainly funnier than the first one, and has the gag rate to make admission worthwhile. In terms of whether or not this is the swansong is here, its an interesting debate - not least given the cast are all now either in or pushing towards their 30s - and one that depends. If this film takes yet another substantial box office haul, then maybe they will return, and certainly, it doesn't have the air of finality to it just yet, even if some of the sex schtick might need a refresh at some stage.
3.5/5
Friday, 1 August 2014
Guardians of the Galaxy - Film Review
Another summer, another Marvel superhero festival is heading straight into the multiplexes.
This one is being billed as different to the standard Marvel Cinematic Universe, with emphasis more on reluctant conmen forced into being superheroes than those for whom superheroics is their job.
It also aspires to be different from that narrative of the standard superhero, with dreams of bringing together a more offbeat playbill than the likes of Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk et all. This recipe has proved to be successful in America, where the film enjoys absurdly high critical support, even if early buzz in the UK film press hasn't quite been so unanimously positive.
The problem with this film is that it is marketed as being different to the remainder of the Marvel canon, yet it just feels like a formulaic extension of it. This film follows a broadly similar narrative to those in the other Marvel films - in fact, it almost feels like straight-up recreations of most of the other films, but with different faces and locales - and is the set-up for an extension of canon, backstory and a wider range of villains, the latter of whom get split-second explanations for their being.
The main thing different, naturally, is the characters, and the shifting from a "save Planet Earth" plot to a "save the universe" plot. Indeed, the only piece of this film set on Earth is a bleak opening set in 1988 that sees a little boy lose his mum to cancer, and in his grief, gets abducted by aliens in a scene that is tonally at odds with the rest of the movie.
Some 26 years further down the line, running concurrently to the present day, the boy has grown into Peter Quill, aka Starlord (Chris Pratt) - a self-styled outlaw running across the galaxy.
Early on, he steals a mystic orb from an abandoned planet and after evading a troupe of bad guys, heads off to try and sell the orb, only to find it has mystic powers and he can't shift it to someone disturbed by these powers.
This leads into a dicey situation, where green-skinned assassin Gamora (Zoe Saldana) and talking super-raccoon Rocket (Bradley Cooper), completed with humanoid tree Groot (Vin Diesel) as assistant, try and take pot-shots at him.
Of the troupe that becomes the Guardians, Rocket and Groot are definitely the most entertaining and provide an intriguing counterpoint to another. The cynical sarcastic raccoon and the life-loving tree certainly make an entertaining couplet, even if the tree only knows the words "I am Groot".
The orb, meanwhile, is of attention to Ronan (Lee Pace) and Thanos (Josh Brolin) - the former of whom wants it for the latter, who hasn't appeared since being spied in a post-credit scene at the end of 2012's Avengers and only appears in four scenes here. Thanos certainly has potential and will no doubt surface at some point in Marvel's continuously expanding canon.
Ronan, meanwhile, has previously adopted/tortured the orphaned Gamora, and created a step-sibling rivalry with her multi-blue skinned bald step-sister Nebula (Karen Gillan), who also could have used more explanation behind their motivation.
But they provide the film's seriousness, which leads to two interesting tonal shifts. The villains provide a malicious menace stronger than a lot of those in Marvel's other film works, yet the heroes are certainly its least serious so far, with plenty of bizarre comic attempts from them.
Some of it does work, although not everything flies, which is about the same that can be said for the majority of comedy movies. Marvel have certainly got the fun side of the comic book debate, as anyone who has watched the wise-cracker extraordinaire Iron Man run around multiplexes over the last six years can attest. This film is certainly not as chokingly serious as a lot of the DC output, but it needs a better alliance between its very serious villains and its more unwitting wisecracking superheroes.
When Quill, Gamora, Rocket and Groot find themselves in jail, we're introduced to the 5th cog from the promo material in the form of Drax the Destroyer (Dave Bautista). He is an odd bag, but by and large, gets away with it, and is certainly one of the big beneficiaries of this film's outstanding make-up and SFX budget.
The make-up here is very extensive - Gillan's make-up for Nebula took 4 1/2 hours to apply, for example - but the SFX work is extremely impressive. Granted $170million probably buys you a lot of SFX and make-up, and CGI imagery has become ubiquitous to the point of fatigue over the last few years, but this is a very good looking movie, with plenty of impressive colours, looks, world creation and more throughout.
There's also a very nice jukebox soundtrack, pilfered from 1970s and 1980s rock/pop radio, and plenty of bizarre dance moves across abandoned planets - and even one during the final showdown. It certainly makes a change from the standard bombastic rock/string combinations of recent weeks. The soundtrack is very nice, and there's a few amusing gags about Kevin Bacon in Footloose.
There's a Star Wars quality as well to the plotting, which at times has the air of the "rag-tag misfits vs Galaxy straddling dominaters" plotline from A New Hope. This is not the only film it feels similar to, given the broad basic beats - especially those near the end - feel similar to those in other recent Marvel works.
It would be unnecessarily contrarian to say this is a film to avoid. The public buzz means people will definitely be enticed through the multiplex doors and despite having a fairly basic plot, like origins films in previous years have tended to, there are still good bits that provide justification for seeing it. But even despite the wealth of new characters and worlds, it feels strangely formulaic in a way that it just shouldn't.
Still, confirmation of plans for an Avengers vs Guardians meeting, as trailed by Marvel at San Diego Comic Con last week, would be interesting, and presumably would bring something boldly different to the party.
3.5/5
This one is being billed as different to the standard Marvel Cinematic Universe, with emphasis more on reluctant conmen forced into being superheroes than those for whom superheroics is their job.
It also aspires to be different from that narrative of the standard superhero, with dreams of bringing together a more offbeat playbill than the likes of Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk et all. This recipe has proved to be successful in America, where the film enjoys absurdly high critical support, even if early buzz in the UK film press hasn't quite been so unanimously positive.
The problem with this film is that it is marketed as being different to the remainder of the Marvel canon, yet it just feels like a formulaic extension of it. This film follows a broadly similar narrative to those in the other Marvel films - in fact, it almost feels like straight-up recreations of most of the other films, but with different faces and locales - and is the set-up for an extension of canon, backstory and a wider range of villains, the latter of whom get split-second explanations for their being.
The main thing different, naturally, is the characters, and the shifting from a "save Planet Earth" plot to a "save the universe" plot. Indeed, the only piece of this film set on Earth is a bleak opening set in 1988 that sees a little boy lose his mum to cancer, and in his grief, gets abducted by aliens in a scene that is tonally at odds with the rest of the movie.
Some 26 years further down the line, running concurrently to the present day, the boy has grown into Peter Quill, aka Starlord (Chris Pratt) - a self-styled outlaw running across the galaxy.
Early on, he steals a mystic orb from an abandoned planet and after evading a troupe of bad guys, heads off to try and sell the orb, only to find it has mystic powers and he can't shift it to someone disturbed by these powers.
This leads into a dicey situation, where green-skinned assassin Gamora (Zoe Saldana) and talking super-raccoon Rocket (Bradley Cooper), completed with humanoid tree Groot (Vin Diesel) as assistant, try and take pot-shots at him.
Of the troupe that becomes the Guardians, Rocket and Groot are definitely the most entertaining and provide an intriguing counterpoint to another. The cynical sarcastic raccoon and the life-loving tree certainly make an entertaining couplet, even if the tree only knows the words "I am Groot".
The orb, meanwhile, is of attention to Ronan (Lee Pace) and Thanos (Josh Brolin) - the former of whom wants it for the latter, who hasn't appeared since being spied in a post-credit scene at the end of 2012's Avengers and only appears in four scenes here. Thanos certainly has potential and will no doubt surface at some point in Marvel's continuously expanding canon.
Ronan, meanwhile, has previously adopted/tortured the orphaned Gamora, and created a step-sibling rivalry with her multi-blue skinned bald step-sister Nebula (Karen Gillan), who also could have used more explanation behind their motivation.
But they provide the film's seriousness, which leads to two interesting tonal shifts. The villains provide a malicious menace stronger than a lot of those in Marvel's other film works, yet the heroes are certainly its least serious so far, with plenty of bizarre comic attempts from them.
Some of it does work, although not everything flies, which is about the same that can be said for the majority of comedy movies. Marvel have certainly got the fun side of the comic book debate, as anyone who has watched the wise-cracker extraordinaire Iron Man run around multiplexes over the last six years can attest. This film is certainly not as chokingly serious as a lot of the DC output, but it needs a better alliance between its very serious villains and its more unwitting wisecracking superheroes.
When Quill, Gamora, Rocket and Groot find themselves in jail, we're introduced to the 5th cog from the promo material in the form of Drax the Destroyer (Dave Bautista). He is an odd bag, but by and large, gets away with it, and is certainly one of the big beneficiaries of this film's outstanding make-up and SFX budget.
The make-up here is very extensive - Gillan's make-up for Nebula took 4 1/2 hours to apply, for example - but the SFX work is extremely impressive. Granted $170million probably buys you a lot of SFX and make-up, and CGI imagery has become ubiquitous to the point of fatigue over the last few years, but this is a very good looking movie, with plenty of impressive colours, looks, world creation and more throughout.
There's also a very nice jukebox soundtrack, pilfered from 1970s and 1980s rock/pop radio, and plenty of bizarre dance moves across abandoned planets - and even one during the final showdown. It certainly makes a change from the standard bombastic rock/string combinations of recent weeks. The soundtrack is very nice, and there's a few amusing gags about Kevin Bacon in Footloose.
There's a Star Wars quality as well to the plotting, which at times has the air of the "rag-tag misfits vs Galaxy straddling dominaters" plotline from A New Hope. This is not the only film it feels similar to, given the broad basic beats - especially those near the end - feel similar to those in other recent Marvel works.
It would be unnecessarily contrarian to say this is a film to avoid. The public buzz means people will definitely be enticed through the multiplex doors and despite having a fairly basic plot, like origins films in previous years have tended to, there are still good bits that provide justification for seeing it. But even despite the wealth of new characters and worlds, it feels strangely formulaic in a way that it just shouldn't.
Still, confirmation of plans for an Avengers vs Guardians meeting, as trailed by Marvel at San Diego Comic Con last week, would be interesting, and presumably would bring something boldly different to the party.
3.5/5
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